this is addressed to

1. no one in particular
2. specific people in mind

dear peers -

you like to think you're deep but you're not. you really are not.
you make fun and scorn people who don't do "crazy" "wild" things and don't "let loose" but maybe that stuff is easy. it's going against it - that's much harder.

you like to think you're accepting of everyone, even if they're not a virgin anymore, do drugs, or have a zillion piercings on their face. but did you ever stop to think you actually don't accept people who don't do these things?

you despair about being made fun of, not getting the stuff someone else does, being misunderstood and being excluded but you do these things too.
you think you're original, totally creative and people like you for this when really, you're in with them because you do the exact same things they do and fit in their mold.

ditching people at the drop of a hat 'cause they aren't as high up the social ladder as you'd like just shows how much you fit the high school stereotype and how uncreative and unoriginal you are.
dating someone SOLELY because they're hot, rich or the only one you can get is really funny in my opinion. can't even have a conversation with them? you have more fun with an uglier, poorer kid? screw, let's just date the stupid one. s/he'll get me places anyway.

you're racist. you probably know it.
you do crazy shit and make problems for yourself because you're life's boring. nothing would happen otherwise. and then you moan/groan when you get to school about hungover/stoned you are or some other scandalous problem that was probably 400% your fault.

you have more in common with that geeky guy standing next to you and you know you'd have an awesome time talking but you ditch him anyway for some tall handsome dude who you desperately need to think of stuff to talk about with when you're with him.

you are way to self-absorbed. you complain and cry about your friends but it's all your fault. your problems are your fault, not theirs. you expect them not to have a life just for you? join in your outings and keep up with your plans even if you know they can't? make them feel like shit for bailing on you when it's all your fault.
it really is.

you drag your friends down with you.

you make fun of yourself and expect your friends to be honest. when they are, you smile and say thanks for being honest. but deep down inside you hate them for telling you the negative truth.

you are so, so superficial. you either buy something only cause everyone else (who matters) has it ... no one else does and when someone buys something similar to yours, you freak out and claim it as your own. people are free to buy what they want. you didn't invent the fucking product.

there are so many people out there who have a ton of potential to be at the top of the school. they don't know or maybe they do. but the reasons they aren't at the top make them better people.
you'll be burnt out in a couple years. trust me.




very sincerely,
debbie

p.s. early merry christmas

courtesy of weheartit.

i haven't been writing in this regularly and i kind of miss it. it's a comfort since i have a real notebook i write it in, but even that isn't regular. it's really cute though - all paint/water stained, leather bound. much more attractive to write in but i'm still not committing.

on to mindlessness -

1. i have a new camera. it's point & shoot dark pink, but i do like it. it serves its purpose, since i'm not exactly a budding photographer and have no wish to be.
   
   
2. procrastinating religion, french and biology tests right now. oohhh, i am the queen of procrastination.
   
   
3. didn't ask for anything for christmas and i'm feeling good about it. now if only i could an advance so i can run out and buy presents for everyone else
   
   
4. really excited about tomorrow - i've bought ingredients for making cupcakes and cookies for my friends and colleagues so... yes. spread the love.
   
   
5. and i'll try taking a photo of every single step of the process. vanilla or chocolate much?
   
   
6. i'm so happy it's snowing and i hope it doesn't rain. i want to go outside with snow softly drifting down and everything is fresh and untouched. not winds whipping at my face or snow melting once it hits the ground. i want to make snow angels, snow forts, snowmen with someone, then go inside and drink tongue scalding hot chocolate.
   
   
7. i wish i didn't care so much what others thought or said. if i didn't then i wouldn't have been on the verge of tears out in the cold today while someone invited me to their house. it just made it worse, though i'm sure they didn't mean anything by it.
   
   
8. why do i always get into conflicts with such aggressive people? i'm probably the most non-confrontational person you'll ever meet.
   
   
9. the person who could've made everything better is too wrapped up in theirself to care. so i refuse to either. i wash my hands of you when you get like this.
   
   
10. i want someone to tell me if i'm overestimating or just telling the truth.
    
    
11. thanks for believing in me and making me laugh in a sea of superficial people.
    

You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

Mr. Darcy from the 2005 version of Pride & Prejudice

do any mr. darcys even exist in real life? if there are... when i find him... i am not letting go.

reading postsecret, this card struck a chord with me. ever since i read catcher 2 years ago, i've always wanted to meet a holden caulfield, or the next best thing, which is j.d. salinger.
now that we're studying the book for english, i resent it sometimes but at least now this reminds me why i liked it in the first place.

saw these on ff and they look vair vair royal (and ghetto fab, hahahaha).
is it too early to start building a christmas wishlist? C:

$65, is it worth it? hmmm...
and i still haven't found my size docs yet. maybe i should give up.