dynamic

there are so much more pressing matters to talk about. my brain is constantly thinking about two things. it's your choice whether to read on or not as this might be quite dull for you.

the best word i can think of to describe my state of being right now is lovestruck. with music, naturally (what, you thought it was with something else?). i highly doubt anyone reads my tumblr, but you'll see what i'm talking about.
i feel guilty because i rarely give to music these days, what with all the changes constantly happening in my life. but then again, if i wait for changes to stop before i start practicing then i'll never begin!
but what little time i do give to music is always rewarded.
for instance, i took music this year and it has reaped nothing but benefits for me. there's the small things of course, like greatly lessening my homework load, raising my average greatly and being a generally enjoyable & carefree subject. it lessens as well as alleviates my stress quite a bit.

all these things seem so insignificant compared to what this class has let me see each day:

someone who makes my heart beat faster
makes me laugh & smile
is so ridiculously genuine

i'm not gonna talk about the physical stuff because that's not what matters, but it is definitely something. i sound like a lovesick idiot but i'm not. i'm not gonna call it love, because it certainly isn't. it isn't infatuation either. i know it's not gonna happen and i'm okay with it. i don't really have much hope but it makes me happy. i don't have to start anything but at least i won't have to be disappointed either.

but i'm proud of myself for gathering up the courage to do everything i've been doing so far. i'm still painfully - well, shy, as there's no other word for it. i'm still also very grounded. down to earth.
perhaps you've been wondering why i've titled this blog "dynamic." it's because dynamic is what you call a character who's constantly changing. static is someone who stays fixed; the same.
i find myself changing in small but rapid ways. what i do and what i view this week is so different even just from last week. i take small but fast baby steps.

life is slowly getting busier and happier... for now. i'm being realistic, not pessimistic.

things are definitely changing, day by day, period by period. things that are happening are being revealed to me, but i found myself surprised that i somehow already knew about it in the back of my head, in my subconscious. it's astonishing at how you wait so long for something to happen and it does... but all at once with a whole host of other things.

END NOTE:
oh, i have so much more to say, but this is long enough as it is. let's leave it for another day, shall we?
i highly doubt anyone has read all of this. kudos to you if you at least skimmed through it c:
at the very least, i hope i gave you an opportunity to flip through your dictionaries a bit.
KIDDING.