i remember ever since grade 5, i've longed to start high school. i knew about the huge workload and the enormous peer pressure but i was still excited. even at the end of eighth grade, it still seemed like something so alien and far away.
when it finally began, it was off to a bad start. i felt so angry, being deprived of a normal high school experience because i went to that school for my freshman year. so for all of ninth grade, i waited impatiently for the next school year. i was so eager to get started that i was even willing to skip summer vacation.
yes, read it and believe it.
i convinced myself that i hated my school. there were so many fun and amazing moments. i had a million close friends. there were so many people i cared for. i looked forward to every single class but not the school day. i felt empty when i left my friends but relief when i got on the bus. i never truly realized how lucky i was to have so many people who like me, care about me. there was never a single time i felt lonely in that school.
but i was impatient to leave it all behind me that i never stopped and enjoyed it. i hate myself because back then i convinced myself i would have absolutely no regrets about leaving.
now that i've actually started grade 10, i see how blessed i was back then. there's a class where i'm completely and utterly friendless. lunch is fun but sometimes awkward. when i go home, i realize how so many of my complaints about my old school were so meaningless. this new school makes you feel so unwanted, like you're just another extra person crowding its halls.
adults want you to believe wearing uniform will stop bullying and popularity but that's a load of... you know. there are so many people who believe they're better than others because of superficial things. i admit i do this sometimes but this doesn't stop me from making friends with whoever's nice to me. i'm not gonna ignore them just because they have lots of acne, have a bad fashion sense, etc.
i just really hate it when i see this happen to someone. it makes ask why there's so many people in the world who get everything they want when they don't even deserve a single bit of it?
so if you're wondering what this whole thing is, i'll tell you.
- it's somewhat of an apology to my old school
- me venting on the injustices of the world c:
